The anal hairstylist Hank Paulson's working behind the scene

The fabulous anal hairstylist and US secretary of the Treasury Hank Paulson is trying his damnest to calm the turbulence in the world's financial markets. He is playing with fire for he's incapable of seeing further than the tip of his high nose and his vision is hazy at best. Meeting with the big boys of powerful central banks, he kept up the stale advice Herr Bush keeps handing out. The US economy is in very bad shape owing to the subprime ponzi scheme which the anal hairstylist helped structure as CEO of Goldman Sachs, and which the toilet bowl cleaner Alan Greenspan encouraged. The crisis is spreading like an uncontrollable cancer, which Herr Bush lying through his teeth by preaching the gospel of pie in the sky economics, cannot stem. And its affecting all markets everywhere.
Enter the booming voice of Paul Volker former chairman of the US Fed, and he ain't exactly swift on his feet, yet he's had the belated courage to say, laissez faire capitalism has proven a failure. Don't take this last sentence amiss. Volker is a confirmed and reborn capitalist, but even he sees that the manoeuvres of Herr Bush and his anal hairstylist are not worth a tinker's damn. The US is already in recession which economists and lawmakers refuse to say, standing on the shaky leg of definitions. The IMF already put the bill to pay at a conservate guestamite of us$1000bn or a cool trillion Yankee dollars; growth is slowing in the vital Asian markets and that also means China, which although it has a vast internal market, its huge population cannot fuel high GDP growth alone. Credit is scare and so long propelled and sustained growth by imports of foreign capital is drying up and in spite of China's huge surplus rising fuel and commodity and food costs and dumb internal policies which are widening the gap between rich and poor will crimp China's economic expansion. Herr Bush and his lapdog at the Treasury and toiletroom attendent Ben Bernanke at the Fed are in a bind; the best they can do is to play for time and leave the whole mess on the lap of next president. Still the way hard times are coming down hard and fast on the world's markets time ain't on their side.